Title: Homework
Author: Claudia Modell
E-mail: cmodell@hotmail.com
Category: M&S married / Humour
Spoilers: REQUIEM
Summary: Someone has a homework to do.
by Claudia Modell

My name is Jason, and my teacher told me to do a composition about my family.

I never had thought about this family stuff. I have a mother and a father, and that is my family. But my teacher said that a family is more than the father and the mother. I should talk about my grandfather, grandmother, my uncles and aunts and my cousins.

To make it worse she said that I have to tell my family background and show some drawnings.

The drawnings I`m gonna make them later. For now I`m going to do a summary, because my teacher said that in order to write a good composition you have to do a summary before and than to organize your ideas.


Well, my mother is Dana. Sometimes she is red and short (no, she is always short), but she is taller than me.

But I`m 10 years old and she is very old, so I`m going to be taller than her, just like my father. My father is Fox. No, really, it`s not a nickname. He is very tall.

My grandmother is Margareth, and she is my mother`s mother. I don`t have any other grandfather or grandmother.

The rest of them died, I don`t know exatly how. I have to ask my mother, because I need to write this damn composition (this must be the reason why my teacher wanted a summary. She is very smart, too bad she is married.

Yeah, I admit, I am in love with her. Note: delete this paragraph before show it to the teacher....Or not....Hummm).


I decided to do some questions to my grandmother, about the family history. She told me about my grandfather who died of a heart attach.

He was a sailor, just like my uncle Bill (who is a very boring person. I mean, really, really boring. He keeps telling the people what to do, even to me.

My father gets really angry with him. I hope someday my father gives him a lesson). My uncle Bill is married with aunt Tara, and they have a son, as boring as his father. He is Matthew.

This annoying boy is 14 years old and is a nerd. Well, there is uncle Charles as well, but I never had seen him. I think he died already and no one want to tell my grandmother. There was my aunt Mellissa. I never met her. She died a long time ago. I asked my mother how it happened and was shocked. She died from a shot in the head!! I swear it is true. And there wasn`t robbers, it was a Governamental Conspiration.

My father told me that and I believe him. Then he told me other stuffs, but before that I am going to write about his family. His mother died before I was born. She killed herself. His father was murdered, like aunt Melissa, by the same Conspirators. Shot in the head. Same old thing... My father had a sister a long time ago.

I asked everybody where she was but no one would tell me. Well, I mean, my uncle Bill seemed happy to tell me that she was abducted by aliens. This composition is getting better. I think my teacher is going to be impressed.


Today I went to talk with my mother... She wasn`t in the mood to talk about past stories, so she asked me what I already knew. It seemed I didn`t know almost anything, since she kept looking at me weirdly. Then she began to tell me a crazy story, but so crazy that I must believe. She wouldn`t make up such crazy story. She told me that she joined the FBI and she met my father over there. Then he kept hunting mutants, aliens, vampires and she, poor woman, was forced to follow him everywhere. I asked why they forced her but she changed subject. Then she told me that once a lot of nazi japonese mutants kidnapped her. She told me, too, that they almost killed my father, that they injected him with a black oil, and put a ship in her head. I couldn`t believe at that! But she wouldn`t lie to me....

Then she told me that her sister died, as I told before. And that uncle Alex was involved. Isn`t it weird that uncle Alex is my godfather even she knowing that he maybe killed her sister? Well, lets keep going. After aunt Melissa, my mother got cancer. She told me that they give her the cancer, but my science teacher said that no one gives cancer to anyone. It`s strange since my mother is a medical doctor and she wouldn`t tell me something that wrong.

Anyway, my mother got that cancer but she didn`t die (duh). My father went there and changed the ship, and gave her a new one. I think her ship was damaged, that`s why she got cancer. So, my father saved my mother`s life.

My other grandfather (the second one, but real one, I couldn`t understand that...) was the one who gave the new ship to my father. I asked what was that thing about my father have two fathers and she told me another story.

She said (and I begin to think my mother isn`t normal) that my father could read minds, because of the injection with the black oil, and that my second granfather took a piece of his brain. I don`t think it makes any difference, since my father is a very normal person. Then, one day, this other grandfather, felt from an escalator and got eaten by a monster who slept for third years. Maybe I`ve got it wrong, but I think that is it.

Then my mother said that my second grandfather died and she thinks that uncle Alex killed him. I really can`t get it. If my uncle Alex is that evil, why my parents are his friends? Just because he doesn`t have an arm??? Talking about that, I asked my uncle Alex how he lost his arm and he told my another weird story. He said that he was in Russia, running out of a camp, with my father, when some russians cut off his arm. He said he even yell. My uncle Alex is tough!

Well, keeping going with my mother`s stories.....She told me that after my father healed her, they kept working together.

They used to travel a lot, to Antartica, to Russia (but he never took my mother there, or even to Porto Rico).

She said that she got angry because he didn`t take her to those places. I can understand that she could want to go to Porto Rico, but why someone would want to go to Russia???? Well, lets keep the subject. She told me that my father got locked in a train that was underground, and that the indians saved him.

Never heard about such a thing. Indians saving the good guys???? But they did! He almost died because he was shot and he wasn`t healed yet. My mother told me that she was the one who shot him, because he wanted to kill uncle Alex. (it could be that my mother is in love with uncle Alex?? I`m going to ask her...)


Wrong choice. My mother is very angry now. It`s better to find another subject to my questions. Uncle Alex is perfect. He opened his arms to me. Ok, bad joke. He was very happy helping me and wanted to answer all my questions. He told me that he used to be my father`s partner and that he tried to kill my father a lot of times.

Then he said that after he had tried to kill him many times, my second grandfather told him to stop trying. I think my father is hard to kill. Well, then my uncle Alex told me that my father hates him, that my father doesn`t understand that he has good intentions, that he wants to see everyone happy. Poor uncle Alex.

Then my uncle Alex told me that my aunt Samantha, my father`s little sister, was taken by the aliens, just like my uncle Bill had told me. He said, too, that after my father learned that his sister was dead he kept hunting aliens, since he went away in a spaceship. I think it was a short trip, since I know my father forever. I asked my uncle Alex if he and my mother were in love.


It`s better do not ask the people if they are in love. I think I keep asking that because I am in love myself, with my teacher. I searched for my father, because I wanted to ask him some things, and man, this guy is crazy!

He told me that once they took all my mother`s eggs, and that he found them and placed them somewhere but he can`t recall the place, and I couldn`t write this because my mother could get angry. (Note: Delete this part because I have already seen my mother in anger and it is scaring).

Well, then he told me that it was a sister of mine, called Emily, and she died. She had green blood and she killed any person who hurt her. I really wanted to meet this girl!

My father said that Emily wasn`t her daughter, and that he and my mother wasn`t even married at that time, and that Emily was an human hibrid alien, or something like that. After she died my mother decided to forget the subject and my father said that she never mencioned Emily. Wow, my mother is terrible, big time! My father told me that she is very jealous. He dated some very beatiful women and my mother got very angry. He said that he could avoid that the women looked him. I didn`t believe that, but I didn`t say anything, since I can`t lose this interview.

Then my father told me about Diana. A woman he met and dated and who my mother hated. This Diana, according to him, was very nice, helped him in everything, protected him, this kind of stuff. He liked her very much and when she died my father was upset. He told me that my mother was very happy.

I asked him why my mother hated her that much, and he said that my mother believed that Diana helped to get Gibson killed. Man, more people in this story! I asked him who was Gibson and my father said that he was a kid, about my age, who read minds. I think he was an alien.

He must be, since he played chess. Oooops, I changed subject again. I asked my father about the black oil and he told me that it was true, and told me that some bees carried a virus. I hate bees, big time!!

When my father told me that a bee made my mother faint when they were going to kiss each other, I hated them even more. You see, if they didn`t get married I couldn`t exist. Something like that, since I was born before they got married. My father said that he was taken by a spaceship and he didn`t know that my mother was pregnant. Man, it must had been a hell of a surprise. Can you imagine someone coming back from an outer space trip, wanting to tell about out ther, and their wife wants only to tell that she had a baby. Very weird.

But less strange than all this crazy things they are telling me. I asked him about this Governamental Conspiration. He did that it was true. He said that my second grandfather was a consortium owner (it must be a club) and it had a lot of costumers, clients, I don`t know. My uncle Alex was one of the followers, and it was some girl called Marita and a lot of people involved. Oh, and of course, Diana was on it. Then I asked about Samantha but my dad is a very complicate guy, he began to talk about the Truth. I think he is foccused. (I have a friend ate school, who is foccused on crayons, so I understand the matter).

Anyway, my father told me that aunt Samantha was taken by aliens, bla bla bla. When I thought that I hadn`t anymore questions, my father told me that I should meet his three friends. I like them, but they are nerd and I have to pretend that I believe Elvis is alive. I even now who Elvis is!!!


So I went to talk with the 3 Strooges. Boy are they crazy! I hadn`t seen how crazy they are until that moment. They started to tell me crazy stories. They talked about sublminars messages, whatever it means, about gas that erase memories, about chips inside the tooth. Oh, I told before that my mother had a ship in the head. But my dad said that is a chip and it is in her neck. (Note: Fix this!!)

When they began to talk about scan my body in order to send me to a videogame, I told my father that my blood pression was low, my heartbeats were acelerated. It had worked with my mom and she didn`t kiss him. It would work another time. I was right. We went home and my father kept talking, telling me about the time he killed two vampires and they came back. I didn`t hear the rest of the story.

I was very worried. How could I give this composition to my beloved teacher? The woman of my life!! She was going to think I am crazy! Well, I WAS worried, because I decided to change everything.


My name is Jason, I am ten years old. My mother is called Dana, she is beautiful. My father`s name is Mr. Mulder, and he is very nice. They worked in a bank all their lives.

My grandmother`s name is Margareth. My mother`s sister died of a heartbreak when her boyfriend left her. My mother`s brother, Bill, is very nice, and I play a lot with my cousin, Matthew.

My grandfather died and my grandmother married another man, and this second grandfather used to smoke a lot. My father`s sister died when she was little, some infection. My grandmother, died from an heart illness. My father used to travel a lot, before I was born. My parents have a lot of friends and uncle Alex is one of them. He is my godfather and helps my father a lot. I have no sisters or brothers, but I had a sister who died before I was born. My family is very nice and normal.


Now, dear teacher, here are the drawnings. http://subsolo.org/page1.html