Title: The Final Fight
Author: Claudia Modell
E-mail: claudia@subsolo.org
Rating: PG
Category: Humour
Archive: Yes, just keep my name on it.
Disclaimers: They are not mine.
Summary: Mulder is bored and sensitive. Me too.
Note: I didn't revise this fic and didn't correct the english
mistakes either.
That's because for the story is not important how bad I write:)




The Final Fight
By Claudia Modell


I am here, in my apartment. Waiting for something to happen, But I
don't know what could happen. 
I see the window but I'm not sure if it's raining or not.
<It's raining>
Yes, now I can see the rain. By the way, my name is Fox Mulder and I
am
an FBI Agent.
<Everyone knows that!>
I should be working in some weird and dangerous case. But I'm not
working. I'm just here doing nothing!
<It's sunday, enjoy it!>
Enjoy? How can I enjoy a free day when it's raining? I would like to
go outside for jogging, maybe.
<Ok, it's not raining anymore>
Oh, the sun shone! thank you! But how is the weather?
<The weather? You just said you're an FBI Agente who works with
weird and dangerous cases, and you are worry about the weather?>
I have to know what kind of clothes I can use.
Oh, did you notice that I'm not wearing anything? How can I go outside
like this? Talking about that, you are a pervert, did you know that?
<Hey, you could wear something, I didn't decide about that!>
Ok, change page because I am not going to change clothes in front of
you.
<I don't know what you have to hide, a lot of writers had already
took off all your clothes>
Hey, just change page, ok? Damn!!!
<Wow, how sensitive! ok, ok>
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<So, shy boy, where do you want to go?>
I don't know!!! YOU have to decide about it. I'm not the writer.
<Hummm, ok. You are going to visit...., hummm, the Lone Gun Men>
You don't have a plot, do you? I mean, you don't have a clue about
how this story is going to go.
<Please, don't try to use long phrases!! Go to the Lone Gun Men's
place, can you?>
Ok, I will, but how I'm going to get there?
<Take. Your. Car.!!!>
And the keys??? Did I take the keys???
<Of course you did! Now GO!!!>
Hey, who is the sensitive one, huh?? Ok, now, suddenly I just show up
at my friends' front door.
It's a house or a an apartment?
<YOU should know that, Mulder!>
My memory is not how the people write about. I even remembered that
I am a psychologist.
<Please, Mulder, don't spoil. I didn't see the episode.>
So, how do you know about it?
<Hey! you forgot to knock the door!>
Yeah, yeah.
<Now I have to change page>
Who is stopping you?
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I knock the door. Claudia, I have to interrupt. It should be better
if the story were in the past tense.
<Look Mulder, English is not my first language, so lets try to not
complicate it ok?>
Oh, I noticed that!
<Ok, thanks for the criticism, now, can you say hello to your
friends who are asking what the hell you want at 3:00 am?>
3:00 am?????? Are you crazy? You wrote "the sun shone"! Go to the
first page!
<Nope, YOU said the sun shone. You should say the sun is shining. It
had shone the day before
maybe? Who is using the past tense in the wrong way now?>
Well, I can be in trouble being here at this time, but it's you who
has to think about something to say.
<It's simple, but you are not going to like it. Take a look>
-Hi guys, you have to be asking what the hell I'm doing here, right?
Frohike looks to Byers and Langly.
-Well, we will ask if you hadn't called us saying that you needed
an information about a case.
<See???>
I didn't call them, it's not fair!!! You cheated!
<No! You just don't remember. You said your memory isn't that good>
Cheater!
-Oh, right. So do you have it?
-Yeap - Frohike says.
You like Frohike, don't you?
<I said his name just onde! but, ok, ok>
-Yeap - Langly, Frohike and Byers say together.
-So, guys, can you give it to me?
-Mulder, you're acting out of character.
-It's not my fault Byers. "Someone" isn't that good writing. That's
all.
-What?
<Mulder, don't be fool. They don't know what you're talking about>
-Never mind. It's too late, and I should be home. So, where's the
information?
Frohike gives the envelope to Mulder. Mulder decides to take a look
at it with Scully.
Claudia, I was talking in first person. Now it's third person. Could
you decide what you
want to do with this fic???
<Look, I'm tired of your criticism. I will revise it later. Don't
worry>
Frohikes gives the envelope to me. I decide to take a look at it
with Scully. She won't
be happy knowing that I'm doing some investigation without her.
Ahahah. In your dreams! She would be very very happy having a whole
night to sleep without
being disturbed for a writer who doesn't have a clue about what she
is writing.
<Mulder, as I asked before: DON'T use long phrases!!!!!!! And, no,
I'm not going to call
Scully, because I don't want her to save you this time!>
Are you going to kill me???? You never killed me before. Hey, sorry
ok?
<You are acting out of character again>
Ok, lets make peace.
<No way. This fic is long just 6k so far. It's almost a vignette>
I like vignettes, they make me think.
<Ah ah, good joke>
Now, am I going to call Scully yes or not?
<Nope, now I have to change page. You go to your home, and sleep.>
Can I???? The other writers never allow me to sleep.
<See how nice I am?>
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I wake up with the ring of the phone. It's Scully. 
-Mulder, It's me.
I know Scully, it's always you! No one calls me, ever.
-Hi Scully, what's the matter?
-Mulder, it's 10 o'clock. Are you planning to work today?
Why Scully is always angry with me in the fics????
<I don't know. Maybe too much UST?>
Whooo, I could change that, can I?
<No, not in this fic, because I'm not shipper, sorry!>
We don't have to be romanticly involved.
<Mulder, Scully isn't that kind of woman. She doesn't want just sex.
Now talk to her>
-Scully, marry me.
<Mulder, don't say that!>
I did already. Now I want to see what you're going to do.
<You asked! Now you'll have it!! I'm tired of you. Don't cry later!>
-Mulder, I'm sure you are just kidding. 
-No, I'm not!
-Mulder, you don't know but I'm involved with someone else.
-Who?
-Skinner.
You are a Skinner/Scully Shipper????? 
<Yes, I am. They are very cute together!>
-Scully, you can't do that, it's not normal. He could be your father.
-Scully???
<She hung up. Forget her.>
No, you can't do this.
<Mulder, now I am going to show you what I can do!!!>
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Hi folks. I am here in my house. Alone. Bored. Sad.
Scully married Skinner two years ago. The Lone Gun Men are working
to the 
Consortium. I was told that my father is Cancerman. 
My mother said that she isn't my real mother. Oh, by the way, I am
not human.
I am a hibrid. 
I figured it out that Scully was taking not little notes about me,
but big
notes!
And so was Skinner, the Gun men, my mother and my neighbor.
Do you remember Tunguska? I have the black cancer now. Oh, Krycek
went to my 
house about twelve times just to kiss me.
I had been arrested about ten time this year.
And, let me see. I lost my hair, I became blind, I had a lot of
crash accidents.
And even a plane accident. 
I learned a lot about this. I learned to never, I mean never,
subestimate the authors.
They can be evil! They are!!!!
<Yeah, good boy. Now take your clothes off>
Only if you change page.

The end...